Silly Senior Thoughts
- Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t
the correct response.
- Don’t irritate old people. The older we get, the less “Life in
prison” is a deterrent.
- Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought “Their
cornbread isn't done in the middle.”
- Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors.
- “You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in
front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did."
- I asked my wife if I were the only one she had ever been with. She
said yes, all the others were nines and tens. Give it a minute...
- I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.
- It turns out that being an adult now is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.
- I miss the 90’s when bread was still good for you and no one knew
what kale was.
- Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think
“That can’t be accurate.”
- I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
- As I watch this new generation try to rewrite our history, one thing
I’m sure of....it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.
- I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.
- Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.
- My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they
make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway. That’s when the
fight started.
- Me: Sobbing my heart out, “I can’t see you anymore.....I’m not
going to let you hurt me again.” Gym Trainer: “It was one sit-up. You
did just one sit-up.”
- Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid, he might be a
serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the
same car was extremely unlikely.
- I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test... Same thing.
Have a very Happy Tuesday!
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