Happy Tuesday July 27, 2021

Silly Senior Thoughts

- Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t

the correct response.

- Don’t irritate old people. The older we get, the less “Life in

prison” is a deterrent.

- Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought “Their

cornbread isn't done in the middle.”

- Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors.

- “You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in

front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did."  

- I asked my wife if I were the only one she had ever been with. She

said yes, all the others were nines and tens.  Give it a minute...

- I really don’t mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

- It turns out that being an adult now is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

- I miss the 90’s when bread was still good for you and no one knew

what kale was.

- Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think

“That can’t be accurate.”

- I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

- As I watch this new generation try to rewrite our history, one thing

I’m sure of....it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

- I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

- Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.

- My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they

make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway. That’s when the

fight started.

- Me:  Sobbing my heart out, “I can’t see you anymore.....I’m not

going to let you hurt me again.”  Gym Trainer: “It was one sit-up. You

did just one sit-up.”

- Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn’t afraid, he might be a

serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the

same car was extremely  unlikely.  

- I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test... Same thing.

Have a very Happy Tuesday!

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