"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing." ~George Bernard Shaw
"Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time." ~Betty Smith, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Sunday, May 01, 2011

If you........


If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Oregon.
If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon.
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Oregon.
If you measure distance in hours, you live in Oregon.
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Oregon.
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Oregon.
If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Oregon.
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Oregon.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Oregon.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Oregon.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Oregon.
If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Oregon.
If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Oregon.
If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Oregon. If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal, you live in Oregon.
If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Oregon.
If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Dutch Bros, you live in Oregon.
If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Oregon.
If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Clatskanie, Issaquah, Oregon, Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, you live in Oregon.
If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Oregon.
If you know that Boring is a city and not just a feeling, you live in Oregon.
If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Oregon.
If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Oregon.
If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Oregon.
If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Oregon.
If you can tell the difference between IPA's,Stouts,Pale Ales,Porters and PBR you live in Oregon.
If you buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time, you live in Oregon.
If you actually understand these jokes you live or have lived in Oregon

3 comments:

Reflections said...

I don't, haven't, but certainly wish to. Really I have friends who live there and enjoy each and every time I am blessed to be visiting... My hope one day is to relocate in your humble state. I do relate to most all of your jokes.

Snowbrush said...

WELL! I've lived in Oregon since 1986, and I still consider people who don't use umbrellas to be idiots--and there does seem to be a lot of idiots in Oregon.

Stafford Ray said...

That is the best geography lesson I have ever seen. It covered topography, weather, people and their culture. And all in a single page!